We have pretty much decided to wait until August, no matter what. We just need a break. We were approved through the first process of the free drug program. But to my understanding, it is a one time deal. So if we wait, we can still be approved, but we won't know until we get closer to August. If we were to apply for the rest now, and got the drugs, we have to use them. So if it didn't fit into our schedule with Disney and New York, then it would be a waste. We are both okay with this decision, although it wasn't easy. It is kind of nice going back to my regular diet. Not that I had to make a lot of changes, but boy did I miss Starbucks! Decaf just isn't the same. But Beer isn't as good as I remember. Don't get me wrong, I still like it, it just doesn't taste the same to me. I know I am weird!
It is kind of nice being a little less stressed than before. I feel guilty for waiting. In my heart I feel it is the right thing to do. The unfortunate part, is that it doesn't make any of this easier. The guilt, heartache, sadness, jealousy, and the frustration are still there-it is all kind of numbing.