quick picture

we have a tooth

Dear Tooth fairy,

I just want to personally thank you for being kind this first go round. I know most people don't show much gratitude to you, unless they are asking for money, but I don't want any. Just want to thank you. And if you want to grant us this much peace the next time, we wouldn't have any objections. Actually maybe we should pay you. How much do you charge for painless teething.....I may be willing to pay? The child has been drooling since he was 3 months, but no crying, ear infections, diarrhea, night crying-nothing that anyone has warned us about. So we have one, on the bottom left. Can the next one be just as painless?

Many thanks again,
Camden's mommy

lost, but now found

I know I have been on a blogging hiatus, but I didn't know whether to continue this blog or stop blogging. I have been a bit torn with continuing due to numerous reasons. One-I have the one thing this blog was about, by baby boy. Two-this was my way to talk to others and to share my feeling about things that I was going through. It was private, and only a few people knew about it besides my fertility family (who I cherish more than anything.) Now, it is extremely public. I am not mad about others finding out about it, I just feel that somethings are better off not being common knowledge to entire world. Yes, I know I blog-and it is on the web, but there is a difference between that and every single acquaintance and friend knowing my deepest darkest feelings and emotions. Three-time-I just don't have as much time as I used to. So I have decided that I will keep it going. I will talk about my life, my son, and when it comes time-infertility. At that time, I will most likely make this blog private or create a private one. I want to keep my IF family in the loop, because they can relate, and they helped me through it the first time, I may need then to get me through it again. I value those friendships. So here we go......

Little man is getting big, he is now about 5 1/2 months, and the joy of my life. We have had a eventful summer. Camden has been to the zoo, Brewer games, Badger game, traveled all over Wisconsin, the list goes on and on. I went back to work after 12 wks, it was a very hard time for me. I always thought I would love motherhood, but I loved it even more than I thought. So I struggled for a few weeks. We found a awesome private daycare provider that gives us some flexibility. I love her, and Camden does so well with her.

A few weeks after being back to work, Camden was baptised. He cried through the entire thing until they poured water on his head, then he smiled. Now, don't most baby's hang out until they pour water over their head, then they cry. Yeah, not my baby!! He had his first haircut about the same week. YUP, a haircut. The crown of his head was about 4 1/2 inches long and stuck straight up, it had to go!! And he had a rat tail that went half way down his back. He looked like a 80's baby. Cute, but much cuter after the haircut.

We have been pretty much in line with milestones. He rolls all over the floor. He started rolling both ways at about 4 months. He has now figured out he can get places by rolling. He is a maniac in his exersaucer and jumper. In his exersaucer the grabs a hold of a toy and leans back and can pull the toy completely out of the exersaucer. Literally breaks it!! He is so incredibly strong!! We actually has to raise the height on both toys because he jumps and is so tall. He is eating cereal and oatmeal. He loves it! He gets rice cereal at night and Oatmeal in the morning. We mixed some squash in the cereal the last two nights. I haven't figured out what he really thinks. The first two bites he gags, then he is fine.

We have been a pretty happy baby for the most part. We have had two colds-nothing to serious-runny nose, little cough. We also had a 4 day flu a couple of weeks ago which was HELL! He had the diarrhea for 5 or 6 days. And he vomited the first day and the last day. I am so glad that is over!! No teeth yet, but they have to be close. This child can't drool anymore than he already does!! He is a facet!!

I will leave you with some pictures and continue to update!!!

Camden's first badger game
walking in the grass
first time swimming

Happy two months

What a day! I am exhausted. We had really loud storms here last night. And it didn't help that it lightninged like crazy either. I was awake most of the storms, from 1-3am, assuming the storms would wake Camden up. But, he decided to sleep through them and wake up at 3:30 for a bottle. And we had to be up early and at our first appt by 9am, and the appts continued all day until 4 pm. Thank god they are over!!

What a big boy!! Camden is officially 2 months today, he is growing up so fast!! Today was his 2 month check up. He is 12lbs, 9 0z--73%, he was 10lbs and 50% 3 wks ago, and he is 23.75"--80%! Holy man, he is growing like a weed. He also received his shots today. I had to step out right before he the shots because I had a dr. appt on a different floor. Hubby said he did okay. He got the first one and his face got bright red and then the furry came. He screamed his head off. Justin doesn't even think he knew he got two more shots because he was still in shock and pissed off from the first one. I told Camden that I was glad that he say his daddy's face as he got those shots, not mine--jk! Actually, I am glad Justin was there, because I don't think I could have helped hold him down and watched him scream like that. He has been pretty good tonight, but definitely not himself. He is really happy, then really sleepy, and hungry. We will how the night goes....he may be up a few times. Only time will tell...

We also found a daycare--yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaa!! It is a bitter sweet feeling. I am glad and a little at ease that we found someone, but don't want to think about going back to work! I am very glad that my inlaws are coming the first week I go back to work, and then my mom is coming the next week.

Holy man, I didn't realize it was 11pm. This girl needs to go to bed!! I will be up in a few hrs, and I have a dr's appt in the am. I can't seem to shake this terrible headache that I have had for over a week. I am going to my 3rd appt for it in the AM, lets see if they find the source. I would be happy with a good pain pill to just get rid of it for a little while. Good night and sweet dreams.

and the days go on....

Tomorrow my little boy is 2 months old!! I am so sad that he growing up so fast, but at the same time it is so fun to watch him change and do new things. He also has his 2 month check up tomorrow. I can't wait to see how much he has grown. I think he is well over 12 lbs, and I know he is really long. He is in 3-6 month sleepers. They are a little big through his chest and arms, but he NEEDS them for his length. My husband said it was time to go up to a bigger size earlier this week, when he could barely straighten his legs in his 0-3 month sleeper. It was kind of funny, but I felt bad at the same time. Now, I am also noticing that a lot of his one piece outfits no longer fit either, they are all to short. So yesterday and today, I drefted all of his 3-6 month clothes, although a lot of them won't fit him yet.

Camden is now officially on strictly formula. I quit pumping last week. It was a tough decision, but pumping was becoming a waste. I wasn't even getting a bottles work after pumping 3 times in a day. My last straw, was going 8 hrs, not feeling full and only getting a ounce in a half after pumping. He finished up everything I had frozen this week. I still feel guilty and wish I was still actually nursing, but what can a girl do? I would have to have him on formula by the time I went back to work, anyway. And that is in 3 wks. It is what it is. He is happy and healthy and that is all that really matters.

Tomorrow, we also are going back to the 2 places we are considering for daycare. One is a actual daycare, and the other is a at home day care. They both have pros and cons. But, I think I like the at home provider better. It is a lot farther away from our house then the other place but it is worth it. Oh, I can't believe I go back to work in 3 wks. Before I went on leave, 12 wks seemed like an eternity to be off. Boy, was I wrong, it is not long enough at all. I wish I lived in Norway, where you get paid to take the first year off. Wouldn't that be nice?!?!

Until tomorrow I leave you with a little cutie pie, named Camden!

power of prayer

I am sorry I haven't updated this week, and unfortunately I am not doing that right now. I am asking for some positive thoughts and prayers. My SIL, Jenna, has been in labor since Tuesday morning at 3 am. She is still in labor now, and yes it is 7:45 Thursday morning. When it
started on Tuesday, she was having contractions about 10 minutes apart. She had a doctors appt that morning at 8:30, where she was only 1 cm dilated and 60% effaced. She labored all day with contractions anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart. She went to bed and they picked up anywhere from 3-5 minutes. She stuck it out through the night and went in at 5 am to only find out she had made no progress. They did allow her to stay at the hospital instead of sending her home, so she could hopefully get some sleep. That didn't happen. They have had her walking and sitting in the tub all day. At 10 pm when I left the hospital, she was still only at 4 cm after 2 days of labor. I received a text this morning that she was finally at 8 cm. She finally took a epidural and they gave her pitocin to speed things up. (really, don't think you should sped things up 24 hrs ago?) She is sleeping as we speak. So, if you can give her some prayers, hugs, and support, I know she would greatly appreciate it. She has no idea how strong she really is, a little support would go a long way. We are all just praying for a healthy delivery!! But, I wouldn't be lying if we all just want this to be over soon for her sake. Thanks you for all of your support!
________________________________________________________________

Update,

Gracelyn Kate was born on Thursday May 28th, at 11:41 am.
She was 7lbs, 10 oz and 19 1/2 inches long
Mom and baby are doing well

Camden looks huge compared to her.....

one day at a time.......

This is the crabby child I have had on my hands for the last 10 days or so. But, I think we have turned the corner. Hopefully I am not jinxing myself by saying that. It started 2 fridays ago, he was fussing from the time he got up to the time he went to bed. It was so unlike him. We decided to give him an extra ounce at his feedings, which seemed to be the trick for about 3 days, and then it started all over again. I could never put him down, and when I did he would cry until he would choke and gage. It was terribly heart breaking! It was making me cry. He wasn't constipated, but it seemed that he was having some gas issues. He would still be burping and hour after his bottle. I contacted the pediatrician and we decided to switch his formula, although I was a little hesitant because I didn't want to make it worse. Anyway, we did that last friday. We switched to a sensative mix, which is slightly broken down. I also decided to switch to a different bottle because he didn't seem to get a good seal around the nipple. He always seemed to be leaking and sucking in air, not to mention it would take 30-40 minutes for him to take 4-5oz. I now have my happy baby back!! He seems to be adjusting to both very well. I don't know what was the cure, but he takes a bottle in about 15-20 minutes and he isn't gassy from it. Not to mention that he still isn't spitting up very often, so it has been a win, win situation. The only thing that sucked was the bottles were expensive and the formula is a little more expensive. It ends up being a latte less a week in cost, so really it's not a big deal. Personally, I wouldn't blink a eye if it cost me a $100 a week, as long as my little man is happy, it is all worth it to me.

So back to what is new:
I had my 6 wk check up this week, I am completely healed up. We talked a little about Birth control, when we want to have another baby, fertility drugs. yikes-I don't think I was ready to switch my thinking to having another one yet, I am still enjoying my 6 WEEK OLD. Anyway she did suggest that I don't take anything that will alter my hormones due to my PSOS and irregular cycles as it is. So we are going that route. We also decided that we will start back on the metformin when Camden is 6 months old. It will take me 6-8 wks to build up my normal dose. At that point I will go back in for testing to see what is happening, well to see if I am ovulating on my own.

Other than that, the last week had been pretty uneventful because of crabby man. I was home for mothers day and my husbands birthday. It was a nice break. My wonderful mother took all of the night feedings while I was home. So I just had to change him, make his bottle, and pump. I then got to go to bed, it was amazing!! It sad on how those little things make you feel like a new woman. I needed it, now I am recharged. Other than that we have been hanging out at home a lot.

This mothers day was in some ways bitter sweet. I have a new persective of the holiday, and thank god every day for my son. But, I also remember how much it hurt last year when every other mother was celebrating the holiday, and I was still dreaming of what it would be like. I kept thinking about all the woman out there struggling with IF and how much their hearts ache on a daily bases. And now there is a day of celebrating something they are privately mourning. Yet, I wonder if someday I will have to endure that frustration and pain again.

It is sad that my maternity leave is half over. Camden is 6 wks old today, it definitly doesn't seem that long ago. It is also crazy how much he has changed. To most people he is still a little baby, and to me he is this little guy with such personality. He screams the minute he decided he is hungry, he hates to burp and screams until he does, then wants the bottle bac-- now. He greets me in the morning with big smiles. He is starting to find his voice. He will let out a loud shreek, and smile and look around to see where it came from. He is getting chubbier cheeks then he already has, I just want to kiss them all day. He loves to cuddle and snuggle-I just never want him to grow up.

4 wk tomorrow

where does the time go? I can't believe that it has been 4 wks tomorrow since I gave birth. YIKES!! Nor can I seem to find the time to get anything done: My house is a mess, I have never ending laundry, and every time I start something, Mr. Camden seems to need something. But I wouldn't change it for the world. So here is what is new in our lives:

Breast feeding: Love it and hate it all in the same breath. I love the bonding time with Camden, but I hate how much it hurts. I have had problems since he has come home from the hospital. My little piggy latched on like a champ. the first weekend he was so hungry and my milk wasn't in, and due to him eating every 2 hrs for at least an hour, he did some serious damage. Like, my nipp.les were cracked, scabbed, and bleeding. Now I am sure I am not the first or last one to experience that, but it hurt so bad for him to latch. I did stick it out, but it never got better because of the damage he did. So after talking to the lactation consultant she suggested that I take a week off and strictly pump to let them heal. That was last Sunday. They suggested that I do not feed him a bottle myself, well that was not possible due to the fact my husband works during the day. So I got him to finally take one from me (this was next to impossible-he looked at me like I was on crack.) Now, to go back to nursing I would have to start all over, and due to the fact I am pumping, for some reason my milk supply has gone down, so we have had to supplement 2 oz every feeding with formula. So I think nursing is behind us, I'm still going to continue to pump and mix with formula until I go back to work. And I really hate pumping, but I just can't let go of it. I envy those people that can nurse with no problems, I would have loved for it to have been that easy for me.

We have had company for almost everyday for the last 4 wks. I think today, and one or maybe two days last week, were the only days someone didn't stop by. It has been nice, but it is also nice to have a day where I don't need to shower and get ready. That probably sound disgusting, but getting ready always seems to be a production. I used to get up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and make it to work all in an hour. Now, it takes me at least two by the time I pump, feed Camden, change few diapers and get him dresses. Boy, oh boy, my priorities have changed.

Hubby and I are going on our first date since the baby on Thursday. We are going to see Bil.ly Jo.el and El.ton Joh.n. I am so excited to see this show, but I am really nervous to leave for that long. I have left to run to the store or go pick up food, leaving him home with my hubby for an hour tops. And I have left on 2 shopping trips with my cousin, but we were gone not even 3 hrs. Thursdays show is almost 4 hrs long and hubby would like to go early and grab a bite to eat or get a drink. I know I need to go and enjoy, I just hope that I am not thinking about how my child is doing the whole time. Hubby called my mom to come and babysit a month before we even bought the tickets. So she is coming down for the night, so he will be in good hands.

We are heading to my parents house for the weekend. Sunday is Mothers day, but it is also hubby's birthday. So we are celebrating both. I will check in later this week and update any new and exciting events. I will leave you with a few pictures:

I love this picture, although my hubby may kill me for posting it. These are the two loves of my life. I put Camden down on my pillow and told hubby to keep him company while I went to grab a bottle. I was gone 3 minutes and returned to find both sleeping and Camden curled around his head. It was too cute!


Camden seems to be in love with his sea horse. He coos and talks to it for hours-seriously. This toy is awesome because it sings 5 songs before it turns off, glow worm not so much. And yes, his hair will not go down, so it sticks up unless it is wet.


Camden not know exactly what to make of tummy time, although he doesn't seem to mind it

2 wk check up

birth stats:
ht-19 1/2 inches
wt-7lbs, 12 oz

2 wk check
ht 20 3/4 inches (48th percentile)
8lbs, 1 oz (27th percentile)

Camden's check up this week went very well. Obviously, as you can see from the above numbers he is growing well. They were very pleased with his weight, considering before he was weighted after he had to major dirty diapers. Everything else seemed to be good. They checked his ears, eyes, and mouth which was all good. His reflexes were very good as well. They were surprised he responds to voices the way he does, he definitely knows who him mommy is, which makes my heart melt. So all is well, we don't go back until 6 wks, and then we start the immunizations, which I am not looking forward to.

Other than that, our trip home went well. It was kind of a quick visit. We got home late Friday afternoon. My parents had some friends over for dinner so they could meet our little man. My grandparents also got to meet Camden for the first time, which was pretty awesome. We took a picture of myself, Camden, my dad, and my grandpa. So it was 4 generations, but it was also the oldest of the oldest kids of the 4 generations, so that was neat as well. Camden likes to cuddle and the pictures were taken during his crabby/fussy time, so I was worried they weren't going to be good. My grandfather held Camden and he curled up around my grandfathers belly and was out, it was pretty funny. On Saturday, the weather sucked, so we hung out at my cousins for a few hours before we headed home. My cousin has 2 kids, 4 and 2. And she is due in 4 wks with her 3rd baby. The 2 yr old thought Camden was the greatest thing. He was such a helper, and he just wanted to hold the baby. The Easter bunny took his pacifier away 2 wks ago, so Camden's pacifier was like gold. Camden spit it out, and the 2yr old took it and told me that Camden doesn't like his pacifier and put it in his pocket. He thought he would take it, it was hilarious. Camden also had 2 blow outs while we were there and he had to help me change him both times. As Camden cried, he sang to him and patted his head saying it was okay-it was pretty priceless.

Friday night was the first time we were away from daddy, and I know it was a little weird form Justin to come home to no one being there. On Saturday, we got home before Justin came home from work. He missed us pretty bad. I had to chuckle when Justin told me that he even missed the smell of Camden's dirty diapers. Boy, have our lives changed!!!

where does the time go?

I can't believe my little guy is 2 wks old already, where does the time go? I am settling into a routine. Things have been going very well. We started a night time routine with Camden. Around 9 or so, I pump a bottle, and then we wake him at 9:30 (give or take) to give him a bath. Right now he doesn't like them at all! Although he does like his hair washed, then all hell breaks lose until we get his pj's on. Justin gives him a bottle and then he out for a good 4-5 1/2 hours. It has been great! We started his last week Friday and has worked awesome. Last night was probably his worse night. He went down at 10:30, was up at 2:30 until about 4:15, and then was up again at 6:30. If that is the worst, I will take it. He is starting to be awake a little more. He goes 2-3 hrs in the morning and evening of awake time, and then brief times during feedings. Yesterday was kind of sad for me. When we brought Camden home he barely fit in any newborn stuff-it was all so big on him. Yesterday when he got up for the day, he looked like he couldn't stretch his legs out, so i put 0-3 month stuff on him and it FIT! This is awesome because i have so many cute outfits that are that size, but so depressing that he is that big already. We have his 2 wk check up tomorrow, so it will be interesting to see how big he has gotten. After his appointment we are heading to my parents for the first time. I am a little nervous to do the drive by myself, but we will survive. We are just going for the night. Camden is going to meet his Great Grandparents for the first time. I am very excited for that!

weight check

Today, Camden had a weight check. He had one on Monday, and he is at 7lbs, 2 oz. So he was down 10 oz. from his birth weight. So they had me nurse him for 20 minutes to see how much he is taking in. After they rechecked it he was 7lbs, 5 oz-which means he took 3 oz in. They were shocked. So today's goal was an ounce a day since the last appointment, so hopefully around 7lbs, 8/9Oz. My little piggy weighed 7lbs, 15 oz! He has surpassed his birth weight which they wanted him at by next Friday at his 2wk check up. Everything else looks great.

We definitely have our nights and days screwed up. Last night he actually was only up once, but he hasn't been that cooperative any nights prior to that. And let me tell you, he has been sleeping all day, so tonight is going to be rough. Thank god, I can sleep tomorrow.

I am doing well. I am officially back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. It feels so good to have clothes to pick from again. Still a little sore, but only when I over do it. Other than that all is well. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

adjusting to motherhood

I have now been home for two days and I am slowly adjusting to motherhood. Lets catch you up on the last few days:

Induction day:
As my husband posted, we checked in at 5:30 am, and nothing really got rolling until 8am. The resident checked me and told me that I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced at check in. This really upset me because I was told that I was 2cm and totally effaced the day before. She also talked over some options for induction, mainly breaking my water and letting it naturally happen or using pitocin to help things out. When the on Call doctor came in, he examined me and told me that I was 3 cm and totally effaced-you can't tell me that I changed in a half hour of sitting there. Anyway, he made the decision to start pitocin and break my water all right away. So the next thing I new my water was broke and my iv was started at the lowest level. This was all started about 8am. So I hung out for a while and did some paperwork that they needed for me while I waited for the contractions to start. I really wasn't feeling much, so I decided I was going to walk the halls. So at that time my nurse increased my pitocin my one level. So I walked, and the contractions started to pick up. After a while of walking I went back to the room and sat on a birthing ball for about a half hour and them just stood swaying on the end of my bed for contractions. I knew I only had to get to 4 cm dialation for me to get the epidural, so at this point I wanted to get checked, it was about 11 am. I was checked and was 4 cm so I asked for my epidural. I had to have a full back of electrolytes before they would call for it, which took about 20-25 minuted by the time they got it and it was through my system. At this time they called for the anasteciologist to come, and they were in with someone else, so they said about 15-20 minutes. So I opted to wait for it and not take a narcotic. Needless to say that epidural never got there because I dilated so fast (4 cm-10 cm in 58 minutes.)

I pushed for a hour and ten minutes, it was hard but definitely not as bad as I thought. It makes such a difference once you can push, they just don't hurt as bad. I had some bleeding problems after the birth. Because I delivered so fast, my uterus wasn't contracting down. My uterus had to be massaged for along time, which I think was worse then the labor. They took my husband and mom out of the room into a room that was attached to do baby stuff, and so they didn't see the blood. I also had to be put back on pitocin and have some other meds administered-I was really out of it at this time because of blood loss that I really don't remember. I did have to keep my IV just in case I needed a blood transfusion, but thankfully I didn't.

I can't believe I had a baby that is 7lbs 12 oz. I was not expecting him to even hit 7lbs. Yikes. I was obviously fairly sore and still am, but I only used ibuprofen for pain. We had tons of family and friends visit. My mom was there for the birth, and was joined by my dad, sister and her boyfriend later that evening. My in laws were there just shortly after I delivered. They were actually there while I was in labor, but waiting in a waiting room. Later that night we were visited my my cousin and her husband as well. On Thursday, we had tons of visitors. At one point we had 20, yes 20 people in the room. I was a little overwhelmed at that point.

More to come...............

induction update

4/8, 2:45pm

...well, Mandy went too fast. I didn't get a chance to update again before we had a son! She went from 4cm to 10cm in just an hour. Then I could see the disappointment in her face as she said, "I'm too late for an epidural aren't I?" She pushed for an hour and ten minutes and she was done! Within seconds of him being out she said, "I'm done being pregnant!" and then it turned into, "...I can't believe I did it without drugs."


We have a happy, crying, healthy, hungry baby boy. He was 19.5 inches and 7lbs 12oz and had a full head of strawberry blonde hair.

...more to come later!

Justin

induction day

4/8, 10am update

Hello, this is Justin. I am the husband designated 'poster' while Mandy is trying to have our baby!

We checked in at 5:30am this morning, we had a nurse shift change and then we had some action finally at 7:45am. At that time we met Dr. Fok, he told her she was 3 cm dilated. He broke Mandy's water and started a Potosin drip. Our nurse Sarah, hooked Mandy up to the portable fetal heart monitor. We walked around the floor for awhile, and now she is sitting on the pregnancy ball.

Spirits are up, but pain from the contractions are starting to take hold.

Justin

Eviction Notice

Dear Baby Torud,

This notice is in reference to the current lease agreement:
Please be advised that on March 30, 2009 you were notified of the violation with our current agreement for the following reasons:

• You have vandalized your dwelling with weathering on the exterior, otherwise known as a rash called PUPPS, with uncontrollable itching and intense discomfort.
• You have been reported to authorities on disorderly conduct in the middle of the night including noise violation, domestic abuse, and vandalizing of internal structures.

You, baby Torud, were notified on March 30, 2009 that if this breech of contract was not corrected you would be held in violation of this lease and forcefully removed in 9 days.

THEREFORE, YOU ARE HEREBY OFFICIALLY BEING EVICTED OF YOUR CURRENT DWELLING.

You have approximately 36 hrs to peacefully leave on your own terms or intervention will be used. Officers Cervadil, Pitocin, and Epidural will be arriving at your doorstep on April 8, 2009 at approximately 5:30 am for a thorough inspection and to ensure physical removal from the premises. Although your lease does not expire until April 15, 2009, we feel you have violated our contract, and physical removal is our only option.

Sincerely,
Your landlord
aka-your MOMMY

pupps

A few more pictures, the bottom is my favorite.

So the conclusion is that it is most likely pupps, but it is not confirmed. I went to the dermatologist on Wednesday morning. She looked at it and said it definitely looked like PUPPS. The only way to get a definite conclusion is to have biopsies and blood work, but there is a catch. She needed to do 5 biopsies, 2 on the stomach, 1 around the breast, 1 on the legs, and 1 on my arms. She would actually numb me, and take a pinch of skin, and then put 2 stitches in each spot, and yes-this would leave a scar. She would not have the results back until at least next Tuesday. I also would need to have a blood test, which I had. The catch you ask-the results won't be back for at least 14 days. So after telling her that I was being induced on Wednesday morning, she agreed with me and said it really wasn't worth it. And 80% of all PUPPS cases come up inconclusive. It just doesn't make sense to put myself through that for nothing. So the last I heard she was trying to reach my doctor to tell her to induce earlier if I wanted. I haven't heard anything, so I am assuming Wednesday will be the day, unless he comes earlier. I have been terribly uncomfortable the last 2 days. Lots of braxtons and pelvic pressure. I actually came home from work early today, and I am only working a half day tomorrow. I never leave early!!! Hubby says he has to wait until 5 pm tomorrow, I just laugh. Although we are getting a terrible winter storm again tomorrow night so anything is possible!!

the end is near

Yesterday was exciting, yet nerve racking at the same time. I had my appointment yesterday. Not much to update as far as progress-I was 1 1/2 cm dilated, 80% effaced. The rash I have is out of control. They sent me to the lab to have a blood test to test for PUPS (I don't know much about it) Anyway, the lab wouldn't do it because I have to fast for 8-12 hrs before the test. So I am doing it tomorrow morning. This test also takes 14 days to get the results back because they send the blood work to Mayo clinic. My doctor feels that we really won't know what this is until after the baby is born. Well, because they wouldn't do it, they are sending me to a dermatologist, which is fine. They are going to do some biopsy's in a couple of spots to determine what it may be. In the mean time I am just hanging out waiting for my next appointment or labor to kick in. That was until I got a phone call that they want to schedule me for a induction. When you ask-NEXT WEEK! So, next Wednesday I am being induced at 5:30 am. I am very scared and very excited all at the same time. Because the doctor doesn't know what is causing this rash, she doesn't want to take any chances. This could all change tomorrow as well. If the biopsies turn out bad, they are going to induce asap, otherwise next week is the day!!

Anyway, I am off to dinner with my crabby husband. Today is our 2 year wedding anniversary. I picked up our piece of crap laptop that we spend a good deal of money getting fixed, and guess what? It doesn't work. So he is been dealing with that all afternoon and is not a happy camper-I don't blame him, but what can we do? Why waste energy getting angry?

pregnancy pictures

I never really put much thought into doing pregnancy photos, or should I say wasn't really interested. Anyway, my cousin talked me into it. So today, I was her guinea pig. Here are 2 of them. We took quite a few, which I will post my favorites at a later time. But for now these are the only sneak peak I get, and all of my readers get. I am so glad that I did this, so Missy that's for talking me into it!!!

I have a doctors appt tomorrow, so I will update everyone on progress. My new adventure is trying to figure out where my hives came from. I am covered in them all over my legs, stomach, and arms. Gotta love it! And they itch like crazy!!!

heartburn hell!

I have it, it is so bad. I feel like I can constantly taste it. Nothing helps, tums, Rolaids, please help me!! I have tried sitting up, not eating anything remotely spicy, any suggestions out there. Any relief is well appreciated!!!! I am so miserable from it, I can't sleep, and I just want to sleep.

Believe it or not, I am still here

Well, I won't make excuses, I am just lazy! Our laptop died right around my last post and is still broke. I have an old desktop that is from right around the turn of the century, and we have it set up downstairs in our basement. It is a little on the slow side and just a pain. Our basement is unfinished, cold, and just not inviting. And do I have to mention I have to sit on a card table chair as I write this, which is not the most comfortable on my bottom. So that is why I haven't updated, so I am sorry. I am going to try to do better in the next few weeks.

So, the baby updates:
I had a appt yesterday, as you all know I am going weekly now, and I don't have much progress. I am a centimeter dilated and about 50% effaced. So some progress is better than none. He is in position, which he has been since our last u/s at 32 wks (I will get to that too.) Other than that, so far total weight gain has been about 23 lbs, although I feel like a blimp. I am definitely caring straight out in front of me. I have started to swell terribly. I have been getting a lot of questions about swelling, and of coarse I responded quickly in saying "no, I have a job where I am on my feet for 9 hrs a day, and have had to problems!" Boy I should have kept my mouth shut!! About two weeks ago, we had some friends over and were sitting at a table playing cards for about 4 hrs. Well I got us to use the restroom, and could hardly walk. My legs were the same size from my knees to my toes, it was terrible, and it hurt so badly. Now, I deal with this on a daily basis. My husband has been great in giving me foot and leg rubs with ma.ma bee.s peppermint foot lotion-by bu.rts bee.s-highly recommend it, it is my only relief. I also have had to remove my wedding ring, which was a very sad day for me.

We had a U/S with our perinatologist at 32 wks, so about 5 wks ago. Everything looked great. I was so disappointed not to get any good 4d pictures again. He just doesn't sit still long enough for anyone to get any good shots. Our profile picture is even bad, although, I think we had a better tech the last time. The cp's in his head are gone, which is what is supposed to happen and his kidneys were both in normal range. They also told us that we should not need any additional follow up before or after the birth. This also includes him being whisked off to the nicu for tests, which was a big possibility. Needless to say, we were thrilled and relieved to hear that news.

The last couple of weeks have been a little crazy. Last weekend we traveled back to my in laws for the last time before the baby comes. We went back for my SIL baby shower and birthday-she is due 6 wks behind me. Her shower was beautiful. I truly hope she enjoyed every minute of it. We were also back home around February 15 for a few days for a family shower for us and just to spend a little quality time up there. It was a great weekend. Our shower was awesome-from the people that showed up, the food, gifts, everything. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

That same week I also spent some time back at my parents house. My dad is part of a organization that puts on a big fundraiser banquet that I have attended for the last 11 year. We also went and saw Wick.ed-loved it!!!!! My husband still can't get over the fact that the wicked witch of the west is not wick/ed. This is very depressing for him!! Other than that, we just hung out, did some baby shopping.

I know I am leaving a ton of stuff out, but I promise I will try to do better. Hope everyone is doing well and I will keep you posted on the events of the next 3 wks......

yuck, yuck, yuck

Disgusting details, it you don't like blood, don't read:

I can't get rid of bloody noses. I have had a bloody nose everyday for the last month. It is only my left side of my nose that gets it. So far they have been tolerable, until today. I got home from work and felt like I needed to blow my nose, and it was straight blood. After blowing it is just ran down my face, nothing I did even slowed it down for about 20 minutes. Now I am afraid to blow it or sniff. It sucks. To make matters worse I keep coughing up blood from my throat from drainage, isn't that nasty. I now have to also get blood stains out of my shirt and I have splatter spots all over my bathroom and kitchen floor. Guess I will be scrubbing my floors on Saturday.

Anyway, nothing to update you on. I feel huge. The heartburn has kicked in full force. I can't sleep. I pee all night. I have extremely bad restless leg syndrome. My ribs are killing me again. I am constantly dying a thirst. Other than that life is grand!

I have two more days of work, and then I am off for about a week. I do work one day between this Saturday and next Tuesday, so one out of ten isn't bad. I need the time off, I need a break. We are heading to my in laws on Saturday, and staying until Tuesday. They are throwing us a baby shower on Sunday. I am very excited to see everyone. Due to our holidays being so rushed this year, we missed a lot of people, so hopefully we can make some of that up this week. Other than that we just plan on spending some quality family time. Hopefully I will be able to update a little more in the next couple weeks since we won't be home. Our computer (laptop) has taken a shit, and has been out of commission for the last 2-3 weeks. We finally got so frustrated we fired up my desktop from the early turn of the century. Needless to say it's just not the same. Hope everyone is doing well, sorry I am suck a bad blogger.

every two weeks

We now get to go to the doctor every two weeks, I can't believe we are this far already. Yesterday, we had a normal check up. As usual, everything seemed to be great. Baby's heartbeat was in the 130's, I forgot to ask what I was measuring, but since she didn't say anything I am assuming pretty much right on schedule-maybe a little behind yet. So far I have gained 16 lbs since the start of this pregnancy-although 5 lbs were this month. They wanted me to gain 20-25 lbs, so I am right on target. Other than that the appointment was pretty uneventful as usual. The baby was moving around like crazy at the appointment which was good. He definitely has times when he is sleeping, but when he is awake he is a human pinball. It feels like when he kicks my ribs, he then bounces off my hip-it is so strange, but yet awesome. The doctor thinks he is sitting across my abdomen a little. His head is near my left hip, his butt is just above my belly button to the right and his legs are in my right side and ribs!! Good times!! Other than that heartburn has set in, and it is the most horrible thing ever. I have always has a little bit of a problem, but not like this. I wake up and can taste it-it is so disgusting! Tum.s have become my new candy!!

4 down, no more to go

I passed the 3 hr again!!!! whooohooo! This time it was definitely not as bad as the last time I did the 3 hr. I wish I knew why I constantly fail the 1 hr, but pass all 4 draws on the 3 hr. I don't get it, but I am not complaining because I do not want GD! I did get the shakes really bad and wasn't feeling very good from it this time. After I came home and ate, I took a nap and that seemed to help. But I still don't quite feel myself. Nothing a good night sleep can't fix!!

almost february....

I know I promised some belly pictures, but I am having a problem getting my pictures to upload, so unfortunately it is going to have to wait. This weekend I went home to my parents house. On Friday, my mom and I ran some errins, and then I went to dinner with a good friend. We went to a sushi place-don't worry I didn't eat any. OOOOhhhhhh, do I miss sushi! What I would do for a spicy tuna roll. On Saturday, my cousins little guy had a birthday party at Ch.ucky Ch.eese, so we went there for lunch and then my cousin and I went baby shopping. We did a little damage, although she did much more damage that I did. We went to some boutiques and then the typical BRU and Tar.get, and of course the mall. It was fun, I really couldn't buy anything because my mom and sister were throwing me a baby shower on Sunday. Saturday night was pretty low key, my mom made a big dinner and then we just stayed around my parents house and hung out.

On Sunday, like previously stated, my mom and sister threw me a baby shower. It was so wonderful. It was mainly family and a few close friends. My in laws even drove all the way down, just for the day, it was great. We played a few games, which were ones I had never played before, and I have been to a lot of baby showers. The first one was name that baby. It was a full sheet of baby pictures, which included everything from my husband and I, our parents, some relatives, and then famous babies (baby jack jack from the incre.dibles, maggie from the simps.ons, you get the picture.) Then we played the price is right. My sister had bought 10 things of my registry-wipes, nuks, diapers, etc. You had to price it and the person who was closest to the total won. It was interesting to see the price differences people had. Then I opened gifts. OMG we got so many wonderful gifts! I cannot get over how wonderful everyone has been and how generous people are to us and this little guy. We are some of the luckiest people I know.

After the shower we headed home to help my mom clean up and get organized, then we headed to a local pizza joint for dinner before we headed home. My in laws stayed to join us for dinner, so it was nice to have our entire immediate family there. That doesn't happened to often. Then we headed home. I was so exhausted!!! It was a great weekend, but it took me two days to recover.

On the baby: I took my glucose test last week for the 3rd time ( first-failed, second which was 3 hr-passed) and failed it again. So now I take the 3 hour test tomorrow for the second time. I do know that I failed the test worse than I did the first time I took it, so hopefully tomorrow will be okay. I do not want to have GD, I like to eat everything to much. My iron counts are still really low, although I have been on the iron pill for over a month. So we are trying another approach of how I take the pill. We are going to try to take it on an empty stomach with orange juice. We will see if that works. I will update tomorrow, hopefully I can get some pictures up soon. I will try to burn them on a disk and pull from that, maybe that will work.

nursery photos

dresser and rocker

curtains my mom made

and my crib and bedding. Sorry this isn't much of a post, but I am fighting with my computer tonight, so this will be short. Obviously this is the start to my nursery. I still need to get some wall things up and I have another small piece of furniture that is being redone right now. But it is a good start! I have some 27 wk belly pictures I will put up tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing well!!

How crazy can people be?

It is freaking cold outside!! Today, it was a high of 0 degrees, yes that is ZERO! And that was before the wind chill is added to that! It is crazy! So, there is one thing that really bothers me......I work in a mall, I am a store manager. Today every school within 60 miles of me was cancelled because of the weather. Because CHILDREN should not be out when it is this cold. So we opened at 10 ,and about 15 minutes later there is a couple and their kids in the mall. One of the kids was about 2, and the other was about 3 months. Now, what in the world is so important that someone has to buy it TODAY and take there children out in the cold and risk their health and in some cases lives. I just don't get it, and we see it all the time. If we get 10 inches of snow, the majority of our customers are people with strollers and little kids, if not infants. Can't they just STAY HOME for the sakes of there kids. Am I just crazy or over reacting because I am pregnant? I had these opinions before I was pregnant, but they are definitely stronger now. I just don't get it. Okay, enough complaining!

Today, my SIL found out she is having a little girl. We are so excited, for her and my BIL. My husbands parents are in heaven. They get one of each, a grandson and a granddaughter, within 6 months of each other. Yeah for us!!!

Is it over yet?

this week? is it over? This has been a long week! Work has been extremely stressful for the last two days. So yes, shit did go down in my store. A managers position was eliminated. On a positive note, if there is one, she was offered another position, although it is a step down. The whole situation depresses me. She has worked really hard to get where she is, just bought a house a year ago, and now she takes a pay cut. To make matters worse there is no one hiring in the area, which I am sure is nation wide. I just want what is best for her, I just feel so bad. I am just so glad to have a job right now, I don't know what I would do if I lost mine, and being pregnant, I would be devastated. I am broke out in hives from head to toe from stress-let me tell you how attractive that looks. On the bright side at least it is mainly on my arms and legs, but it looks like I have a bad case of the chicken pox. I haven't had this happened since 2002, when a different employer I was working for, decided to close. Actually, until now, I never realized the coincidence-how strange. I have also been having really bad abdominal pains, so yesterday I finally went to the doctor. Yes, I was just there 3 days ago. After some tests and a consult, I have a bladder infection. It sucks, and hurts. So I am on some antibiotics for it. I am one of those people that hate taking drugs. I have taken more drugs in the last two years between fertility drugs, vitamins, and everything else-it is crazy.

Okay enough complaining. Great news-my crib is coming this weekend!! I am so excited to put it together and set up the nursery!!

26 wks

update on appt: everything went well. I am up to 119 lbs, which is about a 10 lb weight gain since BFP. I am measuring at 24 weeks, so a little behind, but she is not concerned at all. Heartbeat was good and strong. I was given the glucose drink again to take home with me, it's orange again. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to take it again, but I was wrong! The test I took in the beginning of December was to ensure wasn't diabetic to start with, this time it is to make sure I am not starting to get gestational diabetes. So at 28 weeks, I will have to take the one hour test again. As my nurse told me, "I will probably fail it, and have to take the 3 hr test again-no big deal!" I could have cried. A part of me feels like if they are that confident that I am going to fail, lets just start with the 3 hr, but then again I don't want to have to do it if I don't have to. I will also have my iron levels checked again to see if the iron supplement is helping, which I don't know if it is because I am still so exhausted. We also got some information on blood cord donation, which I don't think we are going to do. And we got a list of my OB's recommendations of a pediatrician so we can make a appointment of who we want to see and have a meet and greet. From here we go back in 4 weeks and then we start we start going every two weeks-yikes did that sneak up on me.

We signed up for our birthing class this week. We are taking that on Feb. 21, it is an all day Saturday class. The hospital I will be delivering at only offers a one day class, which I would much rather do than go to a two hr class for 4 weeks.

I am dreading going to work today. There are some major changes that are happening in my company. A lot of jobs are being eliminated. My boss will be at my store today, which means I am going to find out what changes are happening to my store, which are in return effective today. I am scared shitless. I have been told that my job is not effected, which makes me feel a little better. But I genuinely care about that people that work for me and hate to see anything happen to them. I don't know if it salary cuts, job cuts, or what the changes are. I also have a manager that gave me notice a couple of weeks ago, so she is done at the end of the month. If this goes bad, I could be the only member of management by the end of the month. What makes this worse is I am so tired, and I know I am going to have to step it up, and I feel like I don't have the energy. Can I just go back to bed, and pretend today never has to happen?

scarey

holy man, we are at 100 days to our due date. I can't even believe it. I remember when I first found out we were pregnant and I posted the ticker, I think it was around 220 days. A due date seemed so far in the distance, now it feels like it is just around the corner at times.

We ordered our bedding months ago. When it came, in we went to hang the window valence and we couldn't get a rod up because the window is to close to the wall. So my mom took them home to attach to a board and then put them up. Little did I know the two valences didn't match-I was a little upset. When you pay that kind of money you would think they would match. They didn't match horizontally or vertically. And the boutique that I ordered it from were great, but the manufacture wasn't as helpful. So we decided to make our own valence out of them. My mom did a great job-it turned out super cute. I will post a picture as soon as I have the rest of my furniture and more of the nursery set up.

Tomorrow is my next appointment. I don't know why, but I get really nervous the day before a appointment. I hate it, I get anxious that I am going to hear something bad, although this is just a routine appointment. I will be curious to see how much weight I gained this month. I feel like all I did was eat, eat, and eat some more.