Monday, April 6, 2009

Eviction Notice

Dear Baby Torud,

This notice is in reference to the current lease agreement:
Please be advised that on March 30, 2009 you were notified of the violation with our current agreement for the following reasons:
  • You have vandalized your dwelling with weathering on the exterior, otherwise known as a rash called PUPPS, with uncontrollable itching and intense discomfort.
  • You have been reported to authorities on disorderly conduct in the middle of the night including noise violation, domestic abuse, and vandalizing of internal structures.
You, baby Torud, were notified on March 30, 2009 that if this breech of contract was not corrected you would be held in violation of this lease and forcefully removed in 9 days.

THEREFORE, YOU ARE HEREBY OFFICIALLY BEING EVICTED OF YOUR CURRENT DWELLING.

You have approximately 36 hrs to peacefully leave on your own terms or intervention will be used. Officers Cervadil, Pitocin, and Epidural will be arriving at your doorstep on April 8, 2009 at approximately 5:30 am for a thorough inspection and to ensure physical removal from the premises. Although your lease does not expire until April 15, 2009, we feel you have violated our contract, and physical removal is our only option.

Sincerely,
Your landlord
aka-your MOMMY

3 comments:

Joy said...

This was SO cute!!! My SIL was just induced this morning. I cannot wait to see another sweet new baby!!!

Hilarious post, BTW!!!

Mom said...

Mommy and Daddy,

Watch Out World Here I COME!!!
Everyone is so excited for you. Just think about the days when you started this blog. Life has a way of working out. Love You, MOM and DAD T.

Dre said...

I am a total stranger and new to your blog, but this was freakin hysterical!!! I am especially amused because "eviction" is what we called the forcible removal (aka c-section) of our son also due to PUPPS (and high blood pressure)... and that is what I referred to my repeat c-section this time as, much to my doctor's confusion... I wish you the best of luck with the eviction which is currently underway!!!